Should a nanny post photos of their charges on social media?

This is a topic I often hear discussed, and one I think about a lot of the time.

In recent years the increase of use in facebook, Twitter, Instagram...... Has been a way to show our "friends" what we have been up to! I too am one of those people, I love photos generally, and love to show places I have been, or things I have done, but can I post pictures of my charges?

My opinion is no!! I have taken some super cute photos over the years, that I would love to share, but I dont, why? Because they are not my children!!! It is not for me to share to the world other people's children's faces and activities. Likewise on social media, I will never put their names.

When we start work as a nanny for a new family, we sign a contract that says we will keep all things to do with the family and their affairs confidential, and I believe this to includes children's names and photographs.

I don't at all think it is wrong to take photos of the children, in fact it is something I would encourage because I think it is a nice way to show their parents where we have been, and what they have done.

Photos can also make lovely gifts to their family members.

Keep on taking photos of your adventures, by all means share pictures of locations, but keep your charges images private!!

Going back!!!

So, tomorrow I travel back to work after 3 weeks off sick following a tonsillectomy - a week longer than I was originally told by the consultant, but a definitely much needed extra week!!

As I go back, I am sure I will be met with some disappointment as well as excitement, I am fairly sure I will get a Toria can you go back home now once our routine starts again.

Do I give in and let them get away with some things, or carry on as usual, whether I had been away or not?

Unfortunately for the charges, they will have the same old nanny back, if they refuse to eat then they won't eat, if they're cheeky they get disciplined, if they tell me to go away I will just turn and not say anything.

I believe very strongly, that we are not helping children by letting them get away with eveything. Boundaries are there for a reason, and we need to stay in those boundaries! We are not helping them by letting them get away with cheekiness or naughtiness, we couldn't say to our boss, oh we don't like this I am not doing it - so we have to teach them!!

Of course, I am sure it's not going to be that bad, I looking forward to getting back to some normality, and will be pleased to see the boys, and plan some Christmas activities!!

But for now, I think a coffee with my feet up is in order!

Surgery tomorrow

As I put the children to bed tonight, there was talk again about operations, and who is going to look after them, the same conversation we have had for a week!!

I assured them that all will be well, and promised I will be back in a couple of weeks......

That's when I thought, maybe I shouldn't have promised them anything, I know I will be absolutely fine, but what if...

Lesson learnt, don't promise anything you can't be 1000% sure off.

Is it the nannies job to clean?

This is often a tricky subject for employers and nannies!! It can end up being the being the end of a relationship!

I believe that it is not a nannies job to do the cleaning, obviously clean up the mess we make and tidy children's areas, but beyond that it is for the parents to arrange something to sort the general cleaning of the home.

I also believe it is not the nannies job to clean up from the family after a weekend or day off - a family expects us to leave the house tidy and I believe it's the same for when the nanny starts.

Firstly, it is a question to be asked or clarified at interview. If the job is to clean and look after the children then I think you need to think before taking the job on if this is a role you would like.

Keep on communicating, if you find you are doing more and more household job that ŵasnt in your contract then be honest with your employer and say this isn't what was agreed! Maybe they want to change the remit of your job, but this should be a discussion with both of you.

Don't start by doing too much extra jobs - it will come to be relied on and expected!!

Honesty is the best in this situation - and make sure it's in your contract whether it's part of your job!

its what a nanny does!!!

This is me today, soaking wet from the rain, the boys really wanted to go to the Zoo and so we duly did!! We had a great time looking at the animals and in the sea life centre - did I have to strip off as soon as we walked in? Yes! Did the children have a great time? YES!!

Do these things, it may seem and feel strange but it's memories for all of us to treasure for ever!!

over confidence in a child.....

We have all come across or worked or had friends with children whom we find difficult to tolerate because they are so full of themselves and their own importance.  Especially when they are young.

I have had experiences where I have spoken to by a child, where they have shown little respect - often by children where I have known the whole family, and the child/ren have heard the way parents or other adults speak to me and other adults and therefore think it is acceptable to speak that way - it is not!

I have also been around children, where when they are between the ages of 2-4years what they say and how the deliver it is amusing and cute, but in a few short years they will be looked on as precocious and rude, should we encourage this behaviour at their young age?

My own opinion is children need to know when, and how to communicate with their peers and elders, and if we inflate their confidence too much, they come across in a negative way, and sometimes have trouble forming and maintaining friendships.

I do believe we should teach and encourage children to be confident to converse and socialise with all ages, but we also need to educate them in a way that is appropriate for their ages and those around them.

I grew up in a Vicarage, and with that met a lot of different people, ranging from titled to the everyday people we all mix with, it was of course important that I was brought up to be respectful to all these people, BUT to also show respect to my family by how I behaved in social gatherings.

I believe that each of us, whether parent, nanny, friend, relative has a role to teach children what is acceptable social behaviour for them, and us as their carers! We want them to show respect for us, as their carers and to those we meet. We want the children to be successful and to have friends, we want people and our friends/family to like them and enjoy spending time with them, we want them to be loved and to have solid friendships.....

Give those children praise, give them encouragement, tell them how special they are, but in that giving of praise surround them with invisible barriers, so that they shine as they truly are, not as a child they are not!

What's a good day for a play date?

This wasn't an issue until recently in my current post, but since one is now at school, it is something i have to think about!!!

I think play dates are important, because I believe it forms stronger friendships for the children, is good socially for the children to be children outside of school, and I believe it is good for parents/nannies to form friendships too!

There seems to be a general consensus in the class, that Friday's are the best night for a play dates, for obvious reasons that it's the end of the week, and it doesn't matter if they go to bed later, as there is no school in the morning.

I have to be honest, I don't enjoy play dates on Friday, because selfishly (and I admit it is selfish) I want to finish work on time, whether it's just to sit in my pjs with a glass of something or to get off for the weekend - at 19.20 I want to know my week is completed, but with a Friday play date I know that this is going to push bedtime later, which then means I finish slightly later!!

It is one of those things that I guess I have to just get on with, and accept the reality of a play date - after all surely next year when they're that bit older we can do it on a Thursday?!

Do I buy my employer a Christmas present?

This has always been a tricky thing for me, as I have never really known what to do for the best!

How can I write a blog, if I have never been sure?!

I think it's fair to say, the older I got the more I decided to buy employers a birthday gift rather than Christmas, although what I have done in the past is give a present as though it was from the child/ren.  These have ranged from pieces of art work, to photo calendars, a photographic gift of some description or I have given a nights babysitting!

The main thing to remember, has been, I don't have to compete with what the employer may give me - if thought has gone into it, they will appreciate it, especially if it has something to do with their child/ren.

So, as you prepare for Christmas, do what you think is right for you with your employer, and don't feel guilty if you don't think it's enough (monetary terms) it's the thought that counts!!!!

If you have some ideas, about what you do, please share with us all!!

Oh no, my nanny is sick!!

This post is very real right now for me and the family I work for.

I had what I thought would be an appointment with either a go away, or come back for some tests, when what in fact happened is, within the hour of returning home, the hospital phoned me and booked me in for Surgery next month....

As I discussed dates with the receptionist, in the end I went back to the original date, the one she reminded me, that I had said I couldn't do because of work, the thing is, I replied, I am a nanny and no time is good for me to have off sick....

I have a range of emotions now, guilt, relief that I may soon be well, and apprehension, only the guilt is the most overwhelming.

This is something I know I need to have done, but I know I will hear a bit of frustration and Could possibly be unpopular for a few weeks.

This, in my opinion is a negative of nannying, would I feel guilty if I worked in a school or nursery setting? Yes, but not in the same way because in those childcare establishments my absence is easier to fill, but when you're a nanny, the family is left in the lurch, the children's routines are put out and it's just not ideal.

Can I rationalise my thoughts and feelings??

Being a nanny is just a job!! It is no different to any other types of employment, everyone is entitled to sick leave, should they need it.

If you find yourself in this dilemma, don't feel guilty, look at it as a way to get fully fit, to enable you to be even more successful in your job! If you're an employer, I understand your frustration, I really do, but some things are taken out of the nannies hands, please try not to show too much displeasure to
you're nanny - we feel bad about this too.

I am going to try and not feel too guilty about this - any thoughts, ideas please feel free to leave a comment! It would be nice to hear from you!

I don't have a lunch break

In the UK the law stipulates

Workers have the right to one uninterrupted 20 minute rest break during their working day (this could be a tea or lunch break), if they work more than 6 hours a day.

Only when you are a nanny, you are lucky to get two minutes to yourself to go to the loo!!

Unfortunately when we start these jobs we know that there will be no uninterrupted break for us, so what have I done over the years to make the day easier!!

It is ok to sit and have a tea/coffee while the charges play safely in the same room as you! In fact I would advocate doing this twice during the day!

At lunch time, sit with the children and eat together, then once everyone is finished and tidied a 20 minute programme, where you can all sit together and relax, and the children are entertained!

Being a nanny is not always an easy job, especially if your charges are young, and so I believe to give the children your best, you also need to take care of yourself!

So my advice is take care, have a sit down during the day, and don't feel guilty!!!

Holidays - stress or fun?

My charges broke up today for half term, there was a chorus from the parents and then the teacher to me "have a lovely break" only for me there is no break! My work has now doubled! There will be a different stress, how to entertain, the squabbles that lie ahead, trying to keep everyone happy all day.

But I am sure nannies all over will know this feeling and reality!!

I can't lie, I have seven glorious mornings where there is no school run and the chaos that goes with it! We can have breakfast in a civilised way, and just relax at home until........

And that is the question, do we go out, do we have friends round, where can we go, is it going to cost?

Unfortunately for some families going to places where you have today to pay to enter, is not possible (I appreciate how fortunate I am in not always thinking before I arrange things with others, to meet at a fee paying establishment) some parents don't like their children to watch TV, for other their friends are away.

Always find a time to discuss with your employer ideas for half term, and any outings their friends may have, you may be pleasantly surprised in what they are willing for you to do and may allow a cost day out.  The parents too may like and value some time with their children.

Try to plan some days, but also leave some - it's always nice to do something spontaneous!

So what are the options that keep everyone happy?

- Go to your local park, it's free and enables the children to have a good run around, and hopefully
also lose some energy!
- indoor play area
- look and collect vouchers, many places have a buy one get one free deal going.
- if around arrange play dates with friends
- visit a museum - if you are near the London area you can get in free!
- Art and craft activities
- Baking

And lastly, have a day at home just relaxing, maybe watching a movie! There is nothing wrong in having a PJ day! In fact i think it is very important for children to have time at home, to unwind and be, as well as them getting on and playing with their toys, and appreciating that it is not usual to be out every day and entertained!!

Most importantly, try and enjoy this time with your charges, all too soon term time will be around again!

I'm now off to enjoy half term!

Victoria

Can a nanny love her charges too much?

Strange question maybe, maybe it could be said, should I love my charges?

This is always going to be a tricky thing to resolve, but one you have to!

Inevitably over time you care, and love the precious children in your care, as they too, will love you.
I am the world's worst at getting attached and always wanting them to achieve and the best for them BUT they are not the nanny's children - they are placed into their care while their parents work.

Of course it is normal to love the children you care for, and I personally would be concerned if there was no emotion involved but we have to be careful.

The children will love their nanny, but we also have to be careful that the love for the nanny is not too strong, the hardest thing for a parent is seeing the child so attached to their nanny that they feel redundant.

So, what can we do? And I speak to myself as well!

- Always remember this is just a job!
- One day you won't be in their lives daily
- Guard time off, and don't become too dependent
- Love the children in a non family way
- Remember the children are not yours - however much it may feel like it some days!!!

These are just my thoughts! Any comments let me know!

Victoria

Hello

Hi

My name is Victoria, I have been working in childcare since 1997 mainly as a nanny, have helped in schools and spent two years in an orphanage in Mozambique with up to 30 boys of different ages.

I am often asked by nannies, and more recently by some employers my thoughts on their situations, which led me to think that maybe I could blog about some things I have learnt, and still learning in my work!

I shall start writing tips soon - I hope you may find it interesting or even helpful.

If you are a nanny - keep up the good work!! It's not always easy but you are giving those children some stability!

If you are an employer - praise always goes a long way in keeping your nanny feel comfortable and happy!!

Keep up the good work!

Victoria