Should a new nanny meet the old nanny?

This subject is dealt with differently by different families and nannies - some are adamant that it is a complete no go

I on the other hand, disagree!

The only person who can really explain what the job is like, is the previous nanny, whether it be to share little stories on the children, how you dealt with some issues with the parents, the good and the tricky!

However for me, the most important thing in this, are the children, if you had a good relationship with them and the whole family, why would you not still be in touch? The children will feel confused as to why you're not there at parties and for day visits.
A nanny is an extension to the family, and it would only be natural that the nannies are going to meet at some point.

So let the nannies meet, they are all professional to know you are not taking their job, you are not there to cause friction, at the end of the day, nannies are there for the little people, and they are the most important people in all of the relationships!

When a nanny leaves....

This is something that I think doesn't really get thought about much at all when the working relationship is in full swing, but maybe it is something we should talk about more often?

In this post I am looking at when one side decides the time has come to an end, rather than when it's a disciplinary decision.

When the nanny or parent decides to terminate the working contract, it is not an easy decision, there will be a lot of thought that goes into it, and possibly a few emotional moments too!

I can't speak as a parent, but can as a nanny.  It is also something that I have been going through very recently!!

I won't go into too many details for privacy reasons, but I have been with my current job for 2.5 years, and at the beginning of 2015 began to think for various reasons that maybe this year was a good time to "put my toes in the water" only, what happened I was not prepared for! Within 10 days I had 5 interviews, and before those days the likely hood of being offered a job, with some hesitancy I would take it, but then another opportunity came up for me to go for an interview, where I had before said no, because the other job was looking promising!

In that short space of time I had gone from, let's have a look, to slotting in interviews. This is no mean feat as a nanny, and to be honest, quite a bit harder when you live with the family.

The range of emotions went from being quite pleased that people thought I was worth interviewing, to do I really want a change..... The reality is though, once you have contacted agencies and sent your cv out for families to look at, you have committed yourself to moving on and leaving the children you care for behind.

I had an amazing feeling of guilt and deceitfulness, while I carried on with every day tasks yet had messages about moving on.

Then the message came, "you have a new job if you want it" ecstatic that someone wants to employ me, nervous about telling my current employers and a deep sadness and guilt that I am walking away from two lovely children, that we have built up a loving relationship and as they regularly tell me, "we're a good team"

So I have 11 days left, before I walk out of the everyday lives of these children, and here is the thing.
I will miss them terribly, for the last couple of years I have been with these children 60 hours a week, it is not just a job in this sense, it is a relationship I leave, but yet I know it is the right thing to do.

I believe we should be more open about our feelings, it's not easy. We know we will miss the children, we know we shall have moments of sadness, but I think we should talk about these feelings more, so that we as nannies can support one another and our families and friends can know what we're experiencing.

I am going to enjoy the next 11 days and make the most of our time together, but for now I need to pack!!

Goodnight

Thoughts on this post would be good!!!

Should you be friends with your employer on Facebook??

When thinking of this, I like to rephrase it as "do you tell your employer every minute detail of your life"?

My guessing, is no you don't! And that is perfectly fine, we, as nannies are entitled to a private life outside of work hours, as parents are too.

So, if you don't share every detail of time off work, why would you show them your whereabouts on Facebook, your thoughts, and photos?

I tend to be a nanny, that tells most things (to anyone actually) of what is going on, but there are those occasions where, my employers don't need to know what I am thinking on my status, they don't need to see photos of me at social events at weekends, they don't need to know if I have had a bad day!

We may become part of a family, but at the end of the day we will always be their employee, so for this reason alone, I chose not to befriend my employer until after I left their employment.

It is a personal choice for everyone, but my advice if you are friends with your employer, is just be careful about what you post, that they may see, and if you feel uncomfortable maybe re think about what you are posting, or maybe they are not, after all, your friend.

Is it ok to say No?

Firstly, Happy New Year!! It has been a while, but I had a lovely holiday in Mozambique over the new year period!!

On my return back, I have been thinking about children now a days compared to 1997 when I first started nannying!

Back then, it seemed acceptable to tell a child to stop doing something, or even no.  These days everyone seems so keen to please a child and to stop everything to let them do what they want!

I do not agree with this, if we tell a child to stop something, they need to listen, understand and act.
When we serve their dinner on the dinosaur plate, but they want the bus plate, should we run to the cupboard to change it? No, we tell them to eat off the plate it has been given on.
If they are throwing toys, do we shrug our shoulders and say this is their behaviour? No, we tell the, to stop doing it.

We are responsible for teaching the children how to behave appropriately, how to control themselves and how to have respect for what they are being taught.

We should be saying no more often and teaching the children - this is our role!

I believe it is ok to say No!!

Should a nanny post photos of their charges on social media?

This is a topic I often hear discussed, and one I think about a lot of the time.

In recent years the increase of use in facebook, Twitter, Instagram...... Has been a way to show our "friends" what we have been up to! I too am one of those people, I love photos generally, and love to show places I have been, or things I have done, but can I post pictures of my charges?

My opinion is no!! I have taken some super cute photos over the years, that I would love to share, but I dont, why? Because they are not my children!!! It is not for me to share to the world other people's children's faces and activities. Likewise on social media, I will never put their names.

When we start work as a nanny for a new family, we sign a contract that says we will keep all things to do with the family and their affairs confidential, and I believe this to includes children's names and photographs.

I don't at all think it is wrong to take photos of the children, in fact it is something I would encourage because I think it is a nice way to show their parents where we have been, and what they have done.

Photos can also make lovely gifts to their family members.

Keep on taking photos of your adventures, by all means share pictures of locations, but keep your charges images private!!

Going back!!!

So, tomorrow I travel back to work after 3 weeks off sick following a tonsillectomy - a week longer than I was originally told by the consultant, but a definitely much needed extra week!!

As I go back, I am sure I will be met with some disappointment as well as excitement, I am fairly sure I will get a Toria can you go back home now once our routine starts again.

Do I give in and let them get away with some things, or carry on as usual, whether I had been away or not?

Unfortunately for the charges, they will have the same old nanny back, if they refuse to eat then they won't eat, if they're cheeky they get disciplined, if they tell me to go away I will just turn and not say anything.

I believe very strongly, that we are not helping children by letting them get away with eveything. Boundaries are there for a reason, and we need to stay in those boundaries! We are not helping them by letting them get away with cheekiness or naughtiness, we couldn't say to our boss, oh we don't like this I am not doing it - so we have to teach them!!

Of course, I am sure it's not going to be that bad, I looking forward to getting back to some normality, and will be pleased to see the boys, and plan some Christmas activities!!

But for now, I think a coffee with my feet up is in order!

Surgery tomorrow

As I put the children to bed tonight, there was talk again about operations, and who is going to look after them, the same conversation we have had for a week!!

I assured them that all will be well, and promised I will be back in a couple of weeks......

That's when I thought, maybe I shouldn't have promised them anything, I know I will be absolutely fine, but what if...

Lesson learnt, don't promise anything you can't be 1000% sure off.