Should you be friends with your employer on Facebook??

When thinking of this, I like to rephrase it as "do you tell your employer every minute detail of your life"?

My guessing, is no you don't! And that is perfectly fine, we, as nannies are entitled to a private life outside of work hours, as parents are too.

So, if you don't share every detail of time off work, why would you show them your whereabouts on Facebook, your thoughts, and photos?

I tend to be a nanny, that tells most things (to anyone actually) of what is going on, but there are those occasions where, my employers don't need to know what I am thinking on my status, they don't need to see photos of me at social events at weekends, they don't need to know if I have had a bad day!

We may become part of a family, but at the end of the day we will always be their employee, so for this reason alone, I chose not to befriend my employer until after I left their employment.

It is a personal choice for everyone, but my advice if you are friends with your employer, is just be careful about what you post, that they may see, and if you feel uncomfortable maybe re think about what you are posting, or maybe they are not, after all, your friend.

Is it ok to say No?

Firstly, Happy New Year!! It has been a while, but I had a lovely holiday in Mozambique over the new year period!!

On my return back, I have been thinking about children now a days compared to 1997 when I first started nannying!

Back then, it seemed acceptable to tell a child to stop doing something, or even no.  These days everyone seems so keen to please a child and to stop everything to let them do what they want!

I do not agree with this, if we tell a child to stop something, they need to listen, understand and act.
When we serve their dinner on the dinosaur plate, but they want the bus plate, should we run to the cupboard to change it? No, we tell them to eat off the plate it has been given on.
If they are throwing toys, do we shrug our shoulders and say this is their behaviour? No, we tell the, to stop doing it.

We are responsible for teaching the children how to behave appropriately, how to control themselves and how to have respect for what they are being taught.

We should be saying no more often and teaching the children - this is our role!

I believe it is ok to say No!!

Should a nanny post photos of their charges on social media?

This is a topic I often hear discussed, and one I think about a lot of the time.

In recent years the increase of use in facebook, Twitter, Instagram...... Has been a way to show our "friends" what we have been up to! I too am one of those people, I love photos generally, and love to show places I have been, or things I have done, but can I post pictures of my charges?

My opinion is no!! I have taken some super cute photos over the years, that I would love to share, but I dont, why? Because they are not my children!!! It is not for me to share to the world other people's children's faces and activities. Likewise on social media, I will never put their names.

When we start work as a nanny for a new family, we sign a contract that says we will keep all things to do with the family and their affairs confidential, and I believe this to includes children's names and photographs.

I don't at all think it is wrong to take photos of the children, in fact it is something I would encourage because I think it is a nice way to show their parents where we have been, and what they have done.

Photos can also make lovely gifts to their family members.

Keep on taking photos of your adventures, by all means share pictures of locations, but keep your charges images private!!

Going back!!!

So, tomorrow I travel back to work after 3 weeks off sick following a tonsillectomy - a week longer than I was originally told by the consultant, but a definitely much needed extra week!!

As I go back, I am sure I will be met with some disappointment as well as excitement, I am fairly sure I will get a Toria can you go back home now once our routine starts again.

Do I give in and let them get away with some things, or carry on as usual, whether I had been away or not?

Unfortunately for the charges, they will have the same old nanny back, if they refuse to eat then they won't eat, if they're cheeky they get disciplined, if they tell me to go away I will just turn and not say anything.

I believe very strongly, that we are not helping children by letting them get away with eveything. Boundaries are there for a reason, and we need to stay in those boundaries! We are not helping them by letting them get away with cheekiness or naughtiness, we couldn't say to our boss, oh we don't like this I am not doing it - so we have to teach them!!

Of course, I am sure it's not going to be that bad, I looking forward to getting back to some normality, and will be pleased to see the boys, and plan some Christmas activities!!

But for now, I think a coffee with my feet up is in order!

Surgery tomorrow

As I put the children to bed tonight, there was talk again about operations, and who is going to look after them, the same conversation we have had for a week!!

I assured them that all will be well, and promised I will be back in a couple of weeks......

That's when I thought, maybe I shouldn't have promised them anything, I know I will be absolutely fine, but what if...

Lesson learnt, don't promise anything you can't be 1000% sure off.

Is it the nannies job to clean?

This is often a tricky subject for employers and nannies!! It can end up being the being the end of a relationship!

I believe that it is not a nannies job to do the cleaning, obviously clean up the mess we make and tidy children's areas, but beyond that it is for the parents to arrange something to sort the general cleaning of the home.

I also believe it is not the nannies job to clean up from the family after a weekend or day off - a family expects us to leave the house tidy and I believe it's the same for when the nanny starts.

Firstly, it is a question to be asked or clarified at interview. If the job is to clean and look after the children then I think you need to think before taking the job on if this is a role you would like.

Keep on communicating, if you find you are doing more and more household job that ŵasnt in your contract then be honest with your employer and say this isn't what was agreed! Maybe they want to change the remit of your job, but this should be a discussion with both of you.

Don't start by doing too much extra jobs - it will come to be relied on and expected!!

Honesty is the best in this situation - and make sure it's in your contract whether it's part of your job!

its what a nanny does!!!

This is me today, soaking wet from the rain, the boys really wanted to go to the Zoo and so we duly did!! We had a great time looking at the animals and in the sea life centre - did I have to strip off as soon as we walked in? Yes! Did the children have a great time? YES!!

Do these things, it may seem and feel strange but it's memories for all of us to treasure for ever!!